It is already the first day of December. Soon, we will be welcoming 2009. But I have yet to reflect what I've done in the year 2008. I shall do that pretty soon I supposed. As for now, Im at the peak of my red-light syndrome and I think I need to do some emotional self-regulation although I have some research waiting for me to do some clicking.

As a person, im not and never perfect. I know there are always wrong doings that I do. But yes, Im always striving for the better and will never give up.

2008 has been another year without abah. HE knows how much all of us miss him, especially mak. She has been a great mother that no one can replace her. Of course, sometimes I make things exciting by rebelling, not literally though. I mean, there will be times where Im such a lazy bug to do the house chores or something like that. Other than that, Im good. =)

My siblings complete me. I cant imagine myself with lesser than 5 siblings. I want to stay that way, InsyaAllah. With my sisters, we talk about everything and anything under the sun. With my brothers, of course there's some censorship. But I can do many physical activities with them. They wrestle me, they silat me, they turned me upside down left right. But yea, that was when i was younger. I still get that sometimes now. =/ Only sometimes.

If you ask me about friends, I know I have real great friends. And I also know I have been somehow neglecting those significant ones. You know who you are. If you ask me, yes I really do miss the times we hang around at that coffeeshop having dinner or suppers and talk and gossip and sing songs and whatever more. You know my reasons as to why I was being such a pain in the ass. All I need now is a chance. & promise you things will be like before. But it is easier said than done. We are always far apart. But yes, I wont let that be an excuse. Truly, I love, and I miss you all of you. You, you, you, you. & yes, you too. If you know what I mean, we are supposed to be six in total.

Like what is reflected on my two previous post, Pei Yun's group mentioned the essential ingredients in a relationship. & I want to add another ingredient which I think I lack doing. APPRECIATION. I lack having appreciation when I start having nasty thoughts, when there's evil whispers in my ears and when I start thinking of the worse too much. & thus things happen between me and these wonderful bunch I mentioned above. And also, my boyfriend.

I was so upset and disappointed with myself for being so ridiculous a few days ago. My mind was really out of control then that I did not do things like usual. I really felt dumb and stupid. A good statement to end this entry?

I am a very lucky girl to have such a loving boyfriend who will never get tired of facing the many kinds of bloody mood I have during this time of the month. & anytime anywhere. =)
I Love You Putera Ali!!

Seriously, I need to do real business now. I've been digressing and procrasinating. =)

OHHH..I've a little note.

Dear 19th December,
Please dont come so soon. Please take your time as I still need this precious time with Putera. Please dont snatch him away from me. Please dont bring him away for seven months this soon. Please.

Yours sincerely,
Amira-Tun Nafisah Tamrin
='(

Labels: emotional self regulation VS pressure