I have been feeling uneasy since i dont know when. Maybe it is about being post-pms. I dont know. I need to visit the seaside I guess. I need to shout. I need to scream. I want to let it all out to the hubby, cause he understands me best. Perhaps, writing poetry can help?

Life seems normal for me but deep inside, I think Im bothered. Im disturbed with the super sensitiveness of mother, which sister described it as "old-age-syndrome". Well maybe my sisters can still get along and talk about anything under the sun with mother is because they are also mothers. So most of their time their conversations are linked. As for me, its been a long time since i had that mother-daughter talk. Instead, mother talks about what i dont do instead of what i do. Now learning from ECH, that is bad. But do I have any say? Of course, not! Why? cause i fall in the Authoritarian parenting style. Dont know whats that? Go google it or ask any ECH-ians. Any say of mine will be regarded as "it's rude to answer back". And yes, I dont dare to, maybe I did unintentionally at times, I admit.

Or maybe Im bothered cause I feel no attention given to me, by mother. Why? Cause she's busy in the west. No, thats just my illusion. I know she loves me like no one can love me as much as she does, but, again, learning about ECH, I just got to disagree with her parenting approach. However, from the way I see it, I wont turn out the way I am if mother takes up another parenting approach. =) Or maybe Im still in my teens-age-period. Give me a few more years, perhaps I'll understand, InsyaAllah. Moreover, she's the only one I have left now. She's the mother, she's the father.

Well, it would be blissfully great if father was still around. Seriously speaking, I cant imagine how the family would be like now, if father is still around. Perhap's I would be a daddy's girl? Cause basically father pampered me more than mother when I was younger laa okay. Father was the one who served me food when mother was angry with me and never talked to me for days. He would be the one putting me to bed, tepuk my bontot (patting my butt) with any musical tune and never stops until I was really asleep. If he stopped before I really slept, I would just shake my butt and he would quickly pat again. =) That was all during my single-digit-age. It was blissful.

Ask me why, I dont have an answer to why I suddenly talk about this. Maybe I do envy people whom fathers can still send them to school, or cook for them, or sponsor them license, or just pamper and love them. I get turn off by those who speaks ill of their parents, especially their fathers. Here I am thirsty for a father's love and there they are vulgar-ing their daddies. Nono, im not fingerpointing to anyone, I mentioned cause I did came across these kinda people when bloghopping.

Omg my blog is full of words now. Heh, sorie people. Had to let it go. Not all though. I shall share the others only to Putera Ali. =) Thank you for those who care to read.

& yes, we made ICE-CREAM just now! sedap youu.. Of course, without the Usuals, my day is nothing.

I cant wait to do "The Art of Flirting" and my lesson plans. I hope they turn out brilliantly as they seem. & I need to interview a TEACHER who works with and is exposed to children with special needs. Any recommendation anyone?

Yes, they are all my assignments. got more..but shall not make myself crazy now.

Good night earthlings.