may peace be upon you people..

Truthfully, my mind has been facing some sort of a clash or corruption or whatever it can be called. It has been processing all kinds of imaginations which seriously made me feel literally tired. Tired in a way like you do work, vigorous work or exercise and you feel tired? yea, dat kinda tired. And those imaginations, some were really too good to be true, i mean to even become a reality.. And some were effing scaring. It really affect the way i usually think and the way i respond to things. Certainly, that makes me feeling super insecure. Like what?

for example, I went home just now and the house was dark. I thought there's no1 at home. u noe, the feeling is simply not pleasant when i came home and no1's home. to be precise. my mom. i dun feel safe and complete. as i was saying, and so i opened the gates and well, i always imagine that someone will scare me while i open the door. o0pz..& so i quickly entered the house, and there my lovely mom was sleeping. and again, imagination striked and i was thinking that usually my mom will wake up to the sounds of the keys, but today, she seemed to be extra tired i dunno why and she is still sleeping soundly until now..n mind you i reached home at 915pm and she seldom sleeps that early..n so scary thoughts haunted me..i shall not explain..
the rest of the imaginations? i shall not explain aite..

& i miss my nephew.. hes having a super high fever which made me imagined also.. ok shudup myra.. the reason why he's so special to me is because he was the first baby to be born after i really knew the meaning of err..a nephew/a niece/a baby? the other three anak sedara(s) of mine are also special to me but it just diffrent cause my 1st nephew was born when i was 6?! and my third niece was born when i was 9?! flowing with me now?? wat could a 9-year-old girl understand about baby? i mean.. nvm.. i truly miss Hareez's dimpled smile.. =(

To make things worse, I did faced one of the worse pms. Why was it that bad? because i cant find a way to blow myself up so i ended up..............fill in the blanks for me. =)
& i was trying hard to understand rather than being patient. I had many fake smiles this month. its just a bad pms laa ok..it is still..grr..

& i swear i am in need of POA notes.. Financial Management is killing me slowly.. -_____-"

I hope the week's gonna be fine.. tmr's playing NETBALL!! woot! & i need to find things that will keep me occupied when baby's away..

you know what Im imagining now. I'm imagining how happy and grateful i can be if I'm in Putera's arms now. He'll put all my worries away, for sure. =)